Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Mommyhood - the great debate is on!

I've been asked before why I named my blog Surviving Mommyhood. At the time, it was because I was still learning just that - how to survive becoming a Mommy. But it means so much more than that. Childhood is often looked at as the determining factor of how people act as adults - troubled adults must have had troubled childhoods, greedy adults must have been spoiled in their childhood. But what people don't realize - however true this is for the particular person or not - is that most often a person's childhood is based on their primary caregiver's state of Mommyhood. Now, I don't believe this to be entirely true, as I believe in Parenthood - dual caregivers doing equal shares of the "work". And it's not always a mom and a dad - it can be a grandparent, guardian, mentor, or any other number of persons. But in society's eye, it is quite often the Mommy.

But I digress... what got me started on this rant today? It happens to be my birthday (yay) and I wanted to treat myself to a haircut. So I went to my salon and was lucky enough that my favorite stylist was open. So I had the husband bring the baby down to meet the stylist (she's been my stylist since I was still in my "I'm never having kids" phase). She asked if she could give the baby a sucker - specifically, it turned out to be a mango flavored dumdum.

So, being the easygoing Mommy that I am, I said sure. The baby wasn't sure at first, but quickly learned that it did indeed taste yummy and figured out how to work on it. So she had fun with that for a few minutes, and then my husband finished it for her. In the meantime, another stylist had come by and asked how old the baby was. It's a question I'm used to, so I answered that she is nine months old today. So the other stylist responded about how she couldn't believe I was giving a 9 month old a sucker - think of all of the sugar and she can't possibly be old enough for that!! And she was pretty brazen in telling me so.

Sigh.

Everyone has their different ideas of what is right and what is wrong. The morning I found Lucy chewing on my flip flops, I decided she was old enough to not worry as much about what she ate. I keep obvious limitations - no known allergens (peanuts), no seafood, no milk to drink until she's a year. And I don't begrudge other parents their right to make their own rules for their children. But seriously - I don't need to hear your opinion of me letting my daughter enjoy a sucker for a few moments.

I've touched on similar in previous blog posts- the great formula vs. breast milk debate, the debate of organic vs. non-organic. And I've been argued with countless times over the simplest of "choices". I'm quickly learning that when it comes to Mommyhood, no phase in life or state of being can possibly be more debated and heated.

On a side note, life goes on. The husband and I finished our first 5K over the weekend. We were slow and steady, but we finished the race! We're going to be signing up for another 5K next month - this 5K takes place at night and participants are supposed to be decked out in glow sticks and glow in the dark items. I'm going to be purchasing some electroluminescent wire and sewing it into our clothes. I know I won't win the race, but there's still a chance I can win the costume contest for the best glowing costume!

Aside from the wonderful tutu my friend is making me for the occasion - pink and neon green, natch- I need your ideas for costumes for the husband and I. It has to be somewhat easy to run in and somewhat cool as it will still be August in the midwest. I will post pictures after the race, and will put together some sort of prize for the winner if your costume idea is chosen!!

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